My wife and I are about to have our third kid and I am scared out of my mind. Most people I know stop at two, but we had talked about having 3 or possibly even 4 before we got married, so here we are. I’ve felt incredibly tense lately and I chalked it up to a bunch of reasons, but now I know why. It’s the kid coming and of course the hundreds of things we need to do and buy before they arrive.
We’re having our third the end of July and I’m really starting to freak out now. I feel like I shouldn’t be freaking out because we already have 2, but I am. We’ve done this twice before, so what’s so different now, right?
First of all, I have never been more tired in my entire life and that doesn’t help with feeling overwhelmed and unprepared. The exhaustion I’m feeling isn’t the exhaustion you get from going out late two nights in a row with friends on a weekend. This is marathon tired. It’s when you’ve hit that 13th mile and your legs start to cramp. Next thing you know that muscle under your right shoulder blade starts to burn terribly and your foot feels like it’s going to fall off. But, you know what? You can’t stop, because you’re only half way there and you need to find that energy to go on even if you’re hobbling for the last mile or two. You also need to ignore that nagging pain and convince yourself that you’re bigger than the pain is. This is obviously easier said than done, but it’s a necessity. There are no time outs and there are no do-overs.
So, here I am freaking out about something I can’t control. This baby is coming one way or another and we will find a way to make it work, because we have to. I am not nearly worried about college tuition, or food, or even living space. I’m more worried about time and my ability to push through even the most intense exhaustion. I know I shouldn’t be worrying as much as I am because it will not help the situation, but I still can’t help myself.
The thing that has helped to counteract my anxiety is my excitement. I could not be more excited to be having another child. My daughter is obsessed with babies and I can’t wait to see her reaction when she sees our new little one. I doubt my son will be nearly as excited, but he will love the baby in his own way. My wife, who is a stay at home mom, has been a warrior throughout this pregnancy. We have all definitely worked harder than ever before for this one. More patience, more sharing and more understanding. It will be an amazing sight to see her holding our third, especially considering how much harder she has had to work for this one.
In about a month this baby is going to affect us all in a profound way and no matter how scared, anxious and overwhelmed I am, these emotions cannot compare to my excitement.